A Good Mom

Being sick makes me think about my mom a lot. The one thing I remember best are her hands. That may seem really weird to you, but my mom had these long thin hands and thin fingers (mine look just like hers if you really need a visual) and they were COLD. I don't really know if it was because I had a fever or if she just had cold hands all the time, but I love when someone feels my face or neck for a temp because it makes me think of my mom and how she used to take care of me. :)

It also made me think of what a good mom I will make when and if I have kids. :) When I got sick, my mom got all the good "sick kid foods" out: saltine crackers (the kind in the blue box not generic), chicken soup (campbells or homemade- I like homemade better cause she made it with peas), popcicles (cherry are the best, and no one would eat the grape ones but my dad... things still have not changed), sprite (classic), and my favorite... the best one of all... Blue Bell vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup (BUT you have to stir it all up until it's almost like soft serve... it tastes sooooooooooo much better). I can pretty much duplicate this on my own, but it's always better when someone else is there helping out. That has been the hardest part about not feeling well- my roommates were not at home at all today... or if they were, it was when I was finally able to get a nap in. So, I have spent the day alone.

I have watched a lot of movies. :) I just love watching movies, especially when I don't feel good. When I was younger, my mom used to watch Disney movies with me, and musicals like The Sound of Music and Grease. When my dad would go out of town (which was only once or twice a year), we would rent old Doris Day movies, classics like The Parent Trap and Yours, Mine and Ours, and 80's movies- basically anything with Molly Ringwald. Once, and I think this may have been the only time I ever had the flu, my mom went and brought two Harry Potter books out of the closet. She had been saving them for a special day, and I read them both over the next few days. That was just how great she was. She was always finding ways to love on me and make me feel better.

I want to be that kind of mom. The kind that has gifts for her kids for those special days when they need something extra. The kind that goes on spontaneous trips just for fun. The kind that always wants to hear every little detail about everything. The kind who will hold your hand just because, and let you sit in her lap, even when you get too big. I want to be fun, and loving, and just the best mom ever. But I think I want a husband first. Just saying. :)

I wish you could have met my mom. She really was the best. :) I miss her every single day, but double on days like today. I can't wait to be just like her!

Oh the weather outside is frightful

I wish it was storming, but all I hear right now is the very loud and nasty wind. Like the girl in the picture, this is how I walk when I go outside. No lie.

It makes me wish that tomorrow wasn't a school day. :/

YAY for Friday night and Saturday!! My daddy is coming and I have a babysitting job for an AWESOME family at church. :)

I will go get sleep now, but for some reason I needed to post about this crazy wind!

You Will Find this Funny

Go ahead and laugh... but this will be me in 36 days!

A real update this time... maybe?

Ok, so I decided I would do that thing that everyone else is doing. So, here are 25 things you may or may not know about me:

1) I don't know what I want to do with my life. This one may seem odd to you if you think you know me so well, but I really don't know. I really thought that I might like being a teacher, but I can't seem to find anything I really like about it anymore. I find myself dreading to go back to school other than excited about it. Maybe it's just the school, but I have always wanted to be happy doing what I do, and since I know that this doesn't make me happy, what will?

2) I still sleep with a blankie. I love my blankie. I hate leaving it behind. I've rotated them somewhat, so I am now on my third. My first was polka dotted. It was wonderful. I lost it in a hotel bed when I was 8 or 9. We never got it back. :( My second one lasted way into college. It was yellow and had little holes in it that formed a picture. But it kept getting caught on my bracelet or necklace and the holes became huge and then you couldn't even see the picture and I was afraid to wash it so it started to smell funny... So now I am on blankie number 3. It has care bears on it. I bought it on Ebay. It is wonderful, and very durable, but it could probably do with a wash too.

3) Speaking of Care Bears, I have 33 or 34 (not sure). I have all of the originals but 1 (and I'm not telling which one because I am under the fantastical delusion that my "boyfriend" will get it for me as a gift or something stupid like that) plus the 1991 bears, the "environmental bears" and a few odd balls like a mini bear and a "modern" one that my mom got me at the resale shop. I adore each and every one and plan to decorate my babies nurserys with them.

4) I love kid movies. Like, any movie that the typical 8 or 9 year old would like I like. I rent them from the movie store, and I sometimes wonder what the person behind the counter is thinking. 'Is she renting them for her kids? Does she actually watch this *enter expletive*? Is she unstable... what is this anyway?' I try not to think about these people. I am happy being me and happy with my kid movies.

5) I can't decide what I like better- being alone or with people. Kind of both I guess. I really like being by myself sometimes, but other times I wish the phone would ring inviting me out somewhere. I miss living with my old roommates. I always had someone at home to sit with and talk to. Here, I never see one roommate and the other one is not my friend and clearly never will be. So I don't know if I want to live alone or with a roommate next year...

6) I love mail. I love to check it. I love to open it. I love to send mail and get mail (of course). But right now I have no stamps, and everytime I think about it I'm either too lazy to go buy some or too poor. I used to want to a mail girl when I was growing up, but my mother convinced me that you couldn't go to college to be a mailman, so I gave that dream up.

7) I don't drink Coke. Nope, I never have and I probably never will. I believe that I have tried it before, at some point. But I do not drink Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi, Mr. Pibb, Dr. Pepper... if it's not clear or Lemonade then it probably won't appeal to me.

8) I also don't eat fish or ham. I don't eat fish because 1) I don't like the taste, and 2) I caught my first fish when I was 6 or 7. My dad told me it was a flounder. Wow, flounder... like the little mermaid! Yay! Then we ate "flounder" for dinner... and I have never touched a fish since.
I don't eat ham because, again, 1) I don't like how it tastes, and 2) I went to summer camp one year and was told that all the ham came from baby pigs... even though that was completely untrue, ham still makes my stomach queasy and I won't eat it.

9) I'm afraid of rejection. This is very very true about me. It's why I never went out for sports- I was afraid of being bad and kicked off of a team. It's why I quit acting- I hated people telling me I was never good enough. It's why I'm secretly afraid to date anyone. It's why I would rather not call someone on the phone- because I'm afraid that they won't want to talk or hang out or be around me. I am afraid of not being liked, and this is a huge problem that I have always dealt with.

10) I want to write a childrens book. I have yet to come up with any ideas, really, but I would love to be an author. One day it will come to me, but for now, I will stick to reading.

11) I love to read and I read constantly. But, of course, I read Young Adult and Teen books. They are way more my style- adult books are boring! Blech! I currently own around 1200 books and counting. They are all archieved in an excel speadsheet... I wish I was making that up.

12) I hate sleeping away from home. I have never, ever liked sleepovers! I perfer my own home to anyone elses. It was a real problem when I was growing up. My parents disconnected the house phone one time so I couldn't call home for them to come and pick me up- so mean!

13) I am obsessed with zoos. It's funny, because before I worked there I had only been to the zoo a handful of times. Now, we go ALL the time. I really want to go to the San Diego Zoo as a graduation present. :) The zoo is one of the only places that I feel truly content and at peace. It is also my dream job, and I know that some day I will work there!

14) I am a blog stalker. Roll your eyes and make fun of me if you will, but I just love reading blogs. Two of the more random ones I follow are "...where laughter lives" and "my charming kids" (by the way, she cracks me up and her kids are cute as buttons!). Go to both of these blogs and fall in love with these families! They are so amazing, and I wish that I could meet them both.

15) I have to do 10 more of these suckers and I don't what else to write because I am whiped and have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow for another week of school. Gag. (see? can you tell that I am not at all happy?)

16) I hate sharing. Another thing that this year has taught me is that I hate sharing fridges, bathrooms and TV's with other people. I just want to shout- "This is MINE gosh darn-it!", even though I know perfectly well that it is not. So, reason number 482 that God doesn't want me to have a bf yet...

17) I have the best of intentions with everything I do. I always say I'm going to do things, and think of wonderful things to do, and attempt to do and think these wonderful things at all times, but I fall very very short of that goal, and I am not at all ashamed of admitting that to you.

18) The clock in my room has read 4:06 for almost a year now. I always catch myself looking at it to see what time it is. I should put new batteries in it, I know, but batteries are expensive and if they are not a necessity I will not buy them. So one day, when I look at the clock, it will be 4:06 and I will be a very happy girl.

19) I procrastinate. Like today, for example. I knew I needed to finish my lesson plans ( I need 5 more for next week) and here is what I did instead: watched snipits of TV (I changed the channel about every 20 min), took a HUGE nap, went to AWANA, watch some eps of Dawsons Creek, showered, ate some mashed potatoes and Girl Scout cookies and spent forever on the computer writing this... Maybe I will do them tomorrow.

20) I want to travel the world. I want to go to every US state, and snorkel off the coast of some random island, and walk the streets that Jesus walked and go to Africa and eat real Chinese food in China and hear music at the Sydney Opera house and go on a Meditteranean Cruise and who knows what else. I want to be able to see how amazing our world is!

21) I love my pajamas. They are my favorite outfit that I own. If I could, I would wear them always. In fact, maybe that can be part of my job requirement. *note to self: find a job that encourages the use of PJ's on a regular basis*

22) I love to be loved. Reason number 211 that God hasn't given me a bf is that he knows I will drop the L bomb as soon as said bf says hello to me. Sad, Kelly, sad. But it's true- I need constant love, and hugs and people being excited to see me and all of that. I NEED to feel loved. It's when I don't feel that way that I start getting really depressed.

23) I sing all the time. I sing in the shower and in my room and at school. I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad at singing, I know. I am very off key and have no ear for tone. I was in choir in school because high school is inclusive and everybody gets in. :) I lip synced most of the hard stuff.

24) I am a FIRM believer in Jesus Christ. He is my Lord and my Savior. He bore my sins on the cross so that by believing in Him, I could have eternal life in HEAVEN!! He blesses me continuously, even though I do nothing to deserve it. He is the reason I am here and alive and am able to do the things that I do. He loves me more than anyone!! And yet, I will be honest, I still question him. Everyday. I have my faults and my short comings, and yet i know that my God does not let me down. He never has and he never will.

25) I am wrapping this up with words of advice that I want you all to know: never take anything in your life for granted, because you never know when it could all be gone. Treat each person you meet with love, even when it is hard. Smile when you don't feel like it. Hold your tounge when you feel like you may say something you shouldn't. Tell the people you love that you LOVE them. Praise and thank the Lord EVERY DAY for what he has given you and even for what he has taken away. "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord!" Job 1:21