Reasons to stay in this Summer

I am all for hanging out with people this summer, don't get me wrong. But, with my current track record of friendships in the summertime, I am better at being an e-friend than a let's-go-shopping-and-to-the-movies-and-spend-all-of-our-time-together kind of friend. Ooops.

Well, I have already started my summer obsession: So You Think You Can Dance. Ahh!!! It is SO absolutely fantastic. Where do they come from?! It makes me wish I could dance that. My favorites already are Gabi (who dances like a bird- she is beautiful!), Brandon and Natalie (who are both stellar! They were so close to being on the show last year!! I have always loved Natalie), and I really, really likes Elias (Who, even though he got cut, was a fantastic dancer! I wish they could have put him through).

Soooo, I will be dance updating a ton this summer! It is my favorite show. :)

But, there is so much more to look forward to!! A new summer show on NBC called Merlin dubuting in June. Oooo!! I think I am going to love this one. So my style.

A new Disney Channel Original Movie in June staring Demi and Selena of Disney Channel fame (and who I personally adore for their amazing poise, proffesionalism and Jesus loving attitude) called Princess Protection Program. Wow. Lot's of P's! It looks precious :) and I am looking forward to seeing it.

Degrassi's Summer "Movie" AKA 4 episodes all smushed together to make a "movie". Oh my!! Watch the trailer. Salivate with me!

And, of course, what would summer be without a new ABC family original drama?! Make it or Break It premiers in June as well and is about a bunch of gymnasts training to be Olympiads or something fun like that. Juicy, no?
Wait... 10 Things I Hate About You is going to be a TV show in July?! Oo! Looks exciting!

Ok. That's my obessesive-I-Have-No-Life TV blog. :)

Glee

I'm addicted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glee is a new show starting up on Fox this fall, but they showed the pilot episode early last night after the Idol finale. Whoo!! It blew me away! It's about a glee club at a high school. It has lots of Broadway stars (Lea Michele, Matthew Morrison, Jenna Ushkowitz) and Heroes stars (Claire's real mom (the one with fire powers!), the long lost Charlie, and that witchy cheerleader that always hated Claire). Goooood times.

Curious? Here are two clips for ya:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFaSgUMWo_Y

- Don't Stop Believing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp4Lmc5wLaQ

- the auditions

In the auditions, Rachel Berry is played by Lea Michele. You may remember my obsessive post back in January about the show that I am obsessed with- Spring Awakening. Yes, Lea originated the role of Wendela in the Original Broadway cast. Here's another tasty clip of her for you to feast your eyes on-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaxgsiF8-cg&feature=related

- This is a song from the end of the show called Those You've Known... I don't think it's going to ruin it for you. Just watch it- and love it! And then watch the other 300 videos of her on YouTube. I swear, this chick rocks my socks off. :)

And, if you love all of these Broadway style kiddos, check out Adam Lambert when he played Fiyero in the LA Cast of Wicked-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u4PwAR2Nus

Whoo! oooh! I looooooove it! Yes, this boy needs to do Broadway. Put him in Wicked on Broadway!!!! I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove it.

Ok, have you enjoyed all these videos? I have!! I have too much time on my hands. I need to start my job!!

Waiting

From 'Oh the Places You'll Go' by Dr. Seuss

You can get so confused

that you’ll start in to race

down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace

and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,

headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come,

or a plane to go

or the mail to come,

or the rain to go

or the phone to ring,

or the snow to snow

or waiting around for a Yes or a No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite

or waiting for wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

Cinco Ranch

This is the school I interviewed at today. No, this is not "today". Someone else took this photo.

But, I think this is an excellent picture of how I felt as I left my interview.

It went sooooo well! So well, in fact, that I don't even care if I get the job (though I really want it!). I have never felt like I presented myself as well, or been more true to myself. I was in an a room with 8 other people... 2 principals and 6 teachers, and I guess you could say that I charmed the pants off of them. :) I smiled, laughed, made little jokes and, I think, made an impression. Even if I don't get it, I know that I did my absolute best.

On a side note, as I was coming into the interview, I met one of the AP's, who was at the Katy Job Fair. I maybe talked to her for 15... 20 minutes when I was there. They didn't have a position for a language arts at the time, but one for social studies and we talked a bit about that. I remember her mentioning my Aggie ring. Well, I guess she remembered me more than I thought. She told me that when she saw that a 7th grade language arts position had opened up, she told them- "I remember a girl that I met at the job fair. Let's call her in!" :) Yes, 3 weeks later and apparently I have still made an impression on people. :)

I am pretty proud of myself and how well I did. I'll let you know how it goes! Thank you for all the sweet e-mails and prayers! :) Love you!

Updation

Ok- an update

1) Today is Mother's Day. I miss my mom. :( BUT- she is having the best mothers day party EVER with some pretty awesome mom's up in heaven... so I can't be too sad. :)

2) I want to stay in College Station forever! I really love the community that I have found here. Their love, support, friendship, hugs- everything has just been so wonderful! I spent my last day of nursery care getting lots of hugs, kisses and giggles, cleaning a poopy diaper (of course!), rejoicing over big boy underwear, fingerpainting flowers for mothers day, dishing out animal crackers and goldfish and taking lots of pictures. :) I just LOVE these precious children and I can not wait to share them with you soon. I will post them on facebook when I get around to finding my camera cord...

3) Graduation is right around the corner. WOW. I feel like I just finished fish camp... and now I'm graduating?!?!?! It just doesn't feel real. And I found a graduation dress from JC Penney that I LOVE. Seriously. I am so thankful for my wonderful aunt who traveled with me to find it. She's the one that pulled it out and it is seriously precious. :)

4) I have a new TV show that I am into... and it is DORKY! It's called Legend of the Seeker... imagine a mix of Lord of the Rings and Princess Bride and Robin Hood or King Arthur (maybe?). I found it online (of all places), on the best website EVER- Hulu. I am obsessed. I watched all 19 episodes and am anticipating the final ones to come. The acting isn't brilliant. I know. BUT- the story line intrigues me. And the lead boy is cute. :) It's also based on a HUGE Sci Fi book series by Terry Goodkind called The Sword of Truth series. I just bought the first one from Half Price... and it's like 900 pages long... I'm not kidding. What have I gotten myself into?! lol

5) My body is infected with some itchy rash. I actually think it's a combo of really bad razor burn, dry skin and an irritation to sleeping with sheets again... I just sleep with a blanket on me now, for some reason. Regardless, my legs itch like crazy. But I love baby lotion, so I've been lathering up and I smell good and lavender-y now. :)

6) Everytime I hear a police siren, I think the police are coming to arrest me for using Limewire to download music... guilty conscience? Yes. Will I delete my music? No??

7) I can't wait to start working at the zoo every morning! I love my favorite place in the whole world! I really do!

8) It warms my heart when mothers at church tell me that their children pray for "Ms. Kelly" every night. Aww! Thank you so much! I also found out that one of my AWANA girls prays for me and my husband on a weekly basis. 11 years old... and amazing in so many ways!! How I love them all!

Ok... good update? I dunno... but I thought one was appropriate! :)

Good Buys!!

I love a good sale! I mean, who doesn't?! And as an almost graduate with a non-existent job looming on the horizon, it is imperative that I spend as little as possible to save up for real things... like food. So, I don't really get to indulge myself in the shopping world.

Well, today I changed that. I went to Half Price, which in itself is a good buy all around. It is so fantastic, and their prices are more than affordable! A + HPB!

Then I went to Hobby Lobby... and I totally forgot how much I love that place! I mean, I don't think I've been in there all semester. :) It was so much fun to go in! Anyways, I needed scrapbook paper... and all their paper was 50% off! So, I got 17 sheets for like $2.50! CRAZY! I hope their sale lasts next Monday, cause I need some more stuff!

THEN, I went to Kohls. I had one of those gift card things from the mail... it was a FREE $10 on any one item in the store. So, I found a shirt I liked and only paid $3.78 for it! yay!!!!!!

See, I love sales... and free things. :)

If I come across any other good buys, I will let you know. They are too good to pass up!

I Can't Sleep

I can't sleep.

It's 12:59 AM

I just turned on my Web Cam on my computer and decided to film myself. And I have been really frustrated because I've been pulling out my hair again. A lot. And it hurts and everytime I do it I want to throw up a little and I hate myself and I hate myself and I hate myself.

I just videoed it... it's horrific. It's not as bad as it has been in the past... but it was getting so much better, and I ruined it. I can't believe myself. My stupid self. I am so weak. I try to fix all of my problems on my own. And I can't fix this. And it drives me crazy. I want my mom. I want her to be here to talk to. I want to tell her what's wrong with me. I want her to hold me. But it is completely impossible. And that hurts almost as much as my partially bald head.

I don't know what to do. I can't tell my dad. He will be so disappointed in me. He will not understand. I can't make anybody understand because I don't understand. I don't want to do this. I don't. But I also don't know how to stop. And it's killing me. Literally. I have lost a lot of weight recently. And I'm not puking up my food or starving myself. My body just doesn't want food like it used to. It's like my mom's death all over again. I just have no appetite.

I'm supposed to talk to my therapist tomorrow. Should I tell her that I've been pulling again? That I am out of control. That I feel like I have no control over my mind- or my hands.

I need someone to tell me what to do!!! Please. Someone tell me what I'm supposed to do.

I want God to tell me what to do... GOD- MAKE ME STOP!! Heal me! Please! I don't think I can do this anymore. I can't keep lying to people. I can't make people think that I'm fine when I'm not. I need help. I need you to help me.