"Day turns, today turns, today turns, today turns, today turns, today
You get a little bit older
A little bit taller
A little bit better
A little bit
Day turns, today turns, today turns, today turns, today
And the days before all go too fast
You can't hold on"
This song from a new musical called "13" (go check it out, it's amazing!) really hit me hard today. Today I am 22 years old. Today I have grown up a bit. Today was probably the worst birthday I have ever had.
Tell me, how many birthdays have YOU had? And on how many of those birthdays did you get NO presents from your parents? Yep, my dad did not get me a present for my birthday. He gave me a card, which he signed. Not even an "I'm proud of you" or "I can't believe how fast the time has gone" or any of the other sentimental crap that parents put into letters. Now, my "gift" this year was to go to a musical with my dad. Honestly, that is what i ask for every year because tickets to shows are expensive. BUT I usually get something small, like a book that I've been talking about, or a box of chocolate on the actual day of my birth. SOMETHING to show that he has thought about me. And that is what really breaks my heart. I just feel like he doesn't care about today at all. I know he loves me. I know that, alright? But I just need to be reminded. That is the kind of person I am. I need to take a love languages quiz and find out.
I miss my mom today soooo much. Four other birthdays have gone by and you think that I would be used to this by now. But I'm really not. She made days like this special. She thought of everything. Or maybe I think she thought of everything. Maybe if she was here today would feel just as lame as it does now.
THIS is why I hate being home. Because it makes me feel like complete and total crap. Because I just cry all the time and I am miserable. Because when I am back "home" in College Station, I have a purpose. I have people who love me and I have people to love.
So, here's to you 22nd birthday. May you end as soon as possible.
2 comments:
Oh, Kelly. I am so sorry your special day wasn't as it should have been for you! Know that so many others thought about you, and we all (including your dad) love you. Your mom is lovingly watching you too. I miss you, friend! Hope the rest of your break has been better!
kelly mccreery. you should have answered my birthday call and i could have let you rant to me! you were fondly thought ofon your special day, and every day to be exact. birthdays are differentas we get older.a reminderto us thattime is a gift. life is a gift. so enjoy every minute...even the sucky ones because thoseare the ones that keep us strong. you are loved. i know that banquet is tomorrow, and again, you will be shown how much you are lovedby somany people. happy birthday sweet friend. I love you.
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