Left Behind

I don't want to be Debby Downer... I don't want to post negative things. But sometimes I want to get my feelings out- to get my feelers out there to see if anyone knows what I'm going through.

College is college. It's the same old same old. I don't study when I need to. I do projects and papers last minute. I make friends with all my teachers and enjoy every minute of my classes like the dork I am. And I am ready for it all to be over. I'm ready to be a big girl and have a job. Can you believe that?? I want a job? I love love love going to the school and teaching! I can now tell that I was made to be a teacher- that God has called me to do this. I love making relationships with my students. I love loving on them, and laughing with them and investing myself in their lives. I want to cry just thinking about November 20th- my last day with them. I want to know right now where I'm going to be in August. I need to start praying about it now- I want all of the grace and wisdom the Lord can give me.

In other news, I now feel like Ms. Kelly the proffesional babysitter. :) I love that I get to spend so much time with so many amazing children and families from my church. Last night I babysat from 5 to 11 for this amazing family in my church that works with Campus Crusade. I told their mom that I would start doing little things with them for free. I just LOVE her kids. They are intelligent, and fun, and super sweet. They have some of the most sincere prayers I have ever heard. I was thinking when I was putting them to bad how I hoped I would be able to raise my kids to be like this. (If the Lord even had kids in my future...)

My heart is also hurting for fellowship. Fellowship with girlfriends, with older women, with family. I feel so needy, and that need almost becomes a crutch that I lean on. So I try to solve all my problems and deal with things by myself. I have really found myself in books and music, when I should be finding myself in the Lord and in my relationships with the Godly people in my life.

I am going to leave you with my favorite song from my favorite musical of the moment, Spring Awakening. I have row L, seat 12 for the sunday matinee in January in Houston. You bet I'm excited. :) I love you all so much. And Val, I love you the most! Always.

"The talks you never had, the saturdays you never spent.
All the 'grown-up' places you never went.
And all of the crying you wouldn't understand.
You just let him cry, 'make a man out of him.'"